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How do I Ask a Girl Out?

Once you’ve found a girl you would like to date, and you know her well enough, then try calling her on the phone.

After you talk for a while, you’re ready to ask the question. In asking, never have the attitude: “You wouldn’t want to go out with me, would you?” If you ask like that she will think you have a disease.

Nor should you have the attitude: “Of course you would like the privilege of going out with me since I am God’s gift to women. When would you like to pick me up?” Or, don’t cop out by asking, “Are you doing anything Friday night?”

One of the best ways to pop the question is to ask it like this: “You know, Hermanatica, I’ve enjoyed talking with you. Would you like to get together Tuesday of next week at 3 P.M. to look for lost golf balls at Frank’s Miniature Golf? That way we could get to know each other better.”

When you ask her, always include when and what you plan to do specifically. Never just ask if she would like to go out. If she thinks you are a turkey, you have left her only two options: (1) She can go out and be miserable, or (2) she can turn you down and hurt your feelings.

Telling her the time of the date gives her a polite way of excusing herself if she doesn’t want to go. If she says she is committed, it’s okay to say, “Maybe we could go out another time,” and see what she says. But don’t fish for another date. If she wants to go out with you, she will apologize and let you know she would like for you to ask her out again. She might even offer nights when she is available. If this happens, don’t waste any time in getting the date. Nail it down on the spot.

Planning the date ahead of time shows the girl you have thought this date through. This makes her feel special. Consider setting up a group date for the first date. It relaxes the pressure and often girls are more willing to go out in that situation (adapted fromĀ Dating: Picking (and Being) a Winner, pp. 69-70).

Taken fromĀ The Teenage Q&A Book, pg. 139