Answers for Teens

Return to List of Questions

I’ve Experienced a Lot of Painful Rejection. It’s Affecting My Current Relationship. Is it Just Me?

Reading Time: < 1 minuteMany times a person seeking love and affection who finds only rejection may come to feel that he or she is unworthy or unacceptable as a person. The deeper these feelings grow, the more they focus on the past. Past experiences of frustration and disappointment can tend to make them feel insecure and fearful in every area of life, certain that the future holds only more hurt and pain. This, in turn, can erode self-esteem and hope.

Don’t project your past experiences of rejection into the present. Dating or marital problems can develop when you think you’ve been rejected but you actually haven’t been. You are reacting to past emotional experiences which have sensitized you in a way that makes you think you are again being rejected. It’s important to be well enough in touch with your feelings so that you can be absolutely certain what causes these feelings of rejection. Being in touch with your feelings gives you a solid basis for determining whether you are actually experiencing rejection or simply replaying messages from the past.

Taken from The Teenage Q&A Book, pg. 156