Bible Reading: 1 John 4:7-12
Anyone who does not love does not know God-for God is love. 1 John 4:8
EVER HEARD that old song about infatuation and marriage? The words go something like, “Infatuation and marriage, infatuation and marriage-go together like a horse and carriage.”
If you’re hip to the sounds of golden oldies, right now you’re saying, “It’s not infatuation and marriage, it’s love and marriage.” And you’re correct. But in everyday life, loads of people get the two words mixed up. What’s the difference?
Infatuation has been defined as the emotional impulse of love, untested by time or circumstance. Since infatuation can lead to real love, sometimes it’s tough to tell the difference. The characteristics below, though, highlight the huge difference between infatuation and true love. How does your love measure up?
| Infatuation | True Love |
| Develops suddenly | Grows with time |
| Up and down emotionally | Consistent |
| Fickle | Faithful |
| Breaks up when irritated | Does not panic when problems arise |
| Emphasizes looks | Emphasizes character |
| Gets | Gives |
| Based on my feelings | Based on the other’s needs |
| Self-centered | Self-controlled |
| Physical first | Spiritual first |
| Expects to find happiness | Expects to work at happiness |
| Asks, “How am I doing?” | Asks, “How are you doing?” |
| Focuses on the other’s performance | Unconditionally accepts the other |
| Possessive | Allows the other to relate to others |
| Idealizes the other person | Realistic about strengths and weaknesses |
| Avoids problems | Works through problems |
Do those characteristics of true love remind you of someone? They should, because they reflect the characteristics of God’s love for you. You are the object of that selfless, unconditional love every day. And when you start to live out those traits in your relationships, you mirror God’s love.
REFLECT: Are your attitudes toward the opposite sex more like infatuation or like real love?
PRAY: Ask God to help you express his love to others every day.
