What’s the Difference Between Love and Infatuation?

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blog_teens_Love InfatuationInfatuation has been defined as “the emotional impulse of love, untested by time or circumstance.” Since infatuation can lead to real love, sometimes it is difficult to see the difference.

The characteristics in the chart below show the differences between infatuation and real love.

The Fairy Tale—Infatuation

  • Fall into it suddenly
  • Deepens little with time
  • Wants sex now
  • Up and down emotionally
  • In love with love
  • Fickle
  • Can’t eat or sleep
  • Hostile break-up at the slightest irritations
  • Emphasizes beauty
  • Gets
  • Based on my feelings
  • Self-centered
  • Shows emotion
  • Physical
  • Expects to find happiness
  • Asks “How am I doing?”
  • Focuses on the performance of the other person
  • May feel this way toward more than one person
  • Possessive
  • May be based on few contacts (only person you’ve dated)
  • Has an idealized Image of the other person
  • Avoids problems

The Real Thing—Love

  • Grows with time
  • Always deepening
  • Willing to wait for sex
  • Consistent
  • In love with a person
  • Faithful
  • Has proper perspective
  • Does not panic when problems arise
  • Emphasizes character
  • Gives
  • Based on other’s needs
  • Self-controlled
  • Shows devotion
  • Spiritual
  • Expects to work at happiness
  • Asks “How are you doing?”
  • Provides unconditional acceptance of the other person
  • Feels this way toward one and only one
  • Allows the other person to relate to others
  • Based on many contacts (dated many others)
  • Has a realistic view of the other person’s strengths and weaknesses
  • Works through problems

DEFINITION OF LOVE

Adapted from Love: Making It Last, pp. 18,19
Taken from The Teenage Q&A Book, pg. 52

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