Ladies, in our series exploring our true identity, let’s look at whether you’re walking around with a mistaken identity.
If you’re basing your self-identity and self-worth on the three cultural myths we covered last week, that you’re viewing yourself entirely incorrectly. Though you might not be aware of it, you are carting around a personal identification photo with you 24/7. Whether you’re in the shower or in the grocery store, at the gym or in your kitchen. Even when you’re sound asleep, buried under mounds of covers. Your inner self-portrait.
How Do You See You?
When you think of yourself, do you worry that people will reject you if they see the “real” you? That people will think you’re stupid? Or silly? Or loud? Or irritating? If you had a critical parent or teacher, you may very well feel all of those things. If so, dear beloved gal of God, your inner self-portrait is badly out of focus.
Until we can walk in the reassurance of God’s unceasing grace, the opinions of others will more often than not influence our emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being. Too often we allow our perception of ourselves to be based entirely on how others treat us.
If you see yourself as a failure, you will find some ways to fail, no matter how hard you desire to succeed. “I’m just not smart,” you might tell yourself. Or “I always mess up.” Or “I never get ahead.” Or “I will always be ugly and fat.”
Is Your Identity Cloudy?
Trait #1: Perhaps, if You Have Difficulty Relating to Others
This is especially true when you are in the presence of people who remind you of your perceived short-comings. Women with a poor sense of identity can be so needy that they are incapable of giving selfless attention to others. The unfortunate result is that others view them as uncaring or egocentric. Others may not realize that your self-perceived inadequacy prevents you from having the courage to reach out and care for them.
Trait #2: Perhaps, if You Look to Others for Your Worth
The problem with this trait is that as you are allowing others to determine your worth, you perceive your worth to be in constant flux. When you’re around people who affirm and praise you, you feel worthy. But when you’re around critical friends, family members, or co-workers, your sense of self-worth plunges. You are, in effect, a slave to the opinions of others.
Trait #3: Perhaps, if Your Self-View Causes You to Have Negative Expectations
If you anticipate being rejected, cheated, and depreciated, your own self-defeating behaviors—including distrust and suspicion—may cause these very things to happen to you. Any woman who imagines herself to be a worthless sinner potentially opens the door to sinful actions and habits. It breaks God’s heart to see us walk in personal inadequacy! We are beloved daughters of the Most High God! Let’s know it, believe it, and act like it!
See Yourself as God Does
If we are to gain a healthy identity, we must align our view of ourselves with God’s view of us. Ladies, this is entirely possible, no matter how far we think the leap to be. But how do we do that?
1) We accept that God loves us.
I love that Joyce Meyer once used lipstick to write “God Loves Me” on her bathroom mirror—and kept repeating the phrase over and over and over until one day she realized with a start that she believed it! Get out your lipstick, ladies! It’s time to get this truth down deep into your heart!
2) We commit ourselves to absorbing the character of God by studying His word.
Write scriptures down on index cards and put them EVERYWHERE to remind yourself of how God sees you. Perhaps on your fridge, in your car, even in your bathroom.
3) We allow mature, loving Christians to help us reshape our self-view until we see ourselves as Jesus does.
It’s important that we spend time with people who build us up with God’s love. Ask God to bring girlfriends into your life who will help you to walk in your true identity. Ladies who will remind you of what Jeremiah 31:3 says: That YOU are fully loved and accepted—day in and day out—for all time.
This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!