Welcome! Let’s talk about learning to accept and appreciate ourselves, so we can bravely show up authentically.
How can I put this? Hmmm … some of us are totally faking it. Often because we fear rejection. But to fully experience and share God’s love and grace, we must get to where we can embrace our whole package — what we self-judge to be the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Here’s the truth: God loves every bit of our quirky selves! Love is central to what being a Christian is really all about. You and I are here to 1) LOVE God, and 2) LOVE others. Neither of which we can fully do if we’re wasting time fighting who He made us to be to reflect His love.
In his book Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive, John Eldredge notes, “You cannot love another person from a false self. You cannot love another while you are still hiding. How can you help them to freedom while you remain captive? You cannot love another unless you offer your heart.”
Ah, you’re thinking, but I’ve learned to hide my heart. Because it hurts too much when others tell me I’m not good enough as I am.
The Right Perspective
Too often we dislike… despise… hate… parts of ourselves. WHY???
Here’s a thought:
Maybe the brashness you hate in yourself is actually courage. Maybe the loudness you hate in yourself is actually courage. Maybe your tendency of being a bull in a china shop is actually courage. Or could be, if you weren’t too busy hiding your authentic self…
The million-dollar question: Who told us to not embrace and appreciate these parts of ourselves?
God Designed Our Quirks
In her book Why Your Weirdness is Wonderful, speaker and life coach Laurie Wallin adds, “Insecurity happens when we’re trying to live someone else’s quirks. Borrowed weirdness can’t work wonderfully in us because it’s meant for someone else.”
I now understand that my mom, who criticized me daily during my childhood, did the best she could. My high energy undid her. But rather than taking the time to help me to still feel good about my naturally loud bent, her critiques led me to believe that I was defective. Not enough as I am.
I went from being a confident kid to a people pleaser to the MAX. I pivoted like a chameleon, giving people whatever color of me they wanted, so that I would feel momentarily accepted. But inside I was often angry at having to feel that I couldn’t be myself. Can you relate??
But God KNEW what He was doing when He designed us. God DESIGNED us to add our authentic selves to the world.
As Laurie puts it so well, “God didn’t give us our gifts to paint them over with someone else’s. The unique tendencies in you and me are meant to shine in a hue all their own, and in doing so, bring a little more clarity to the full-color beauty of the God we reveal to the world.”